ooh.. this is cool.. i chanced upon this online while surfing..


By Flora McCraith, MSN, 02/09/2010


Quit the bickering
Tips on how to stop the arguing and petty bickering

Having the odd argument with your partner is normal and happens in most relationships. However, when it gets to the point where you are arguing every day, all your discussions are leading to fighting and bickering non-stop, then it is time to reassess things, because the likelihood of your relationship surviving is slim. We give you some tips on how to stop the bickering.

Stress and frustration

Lots of things make us tired and irritated and we take it out on our partner because we don’t know how to vent it, even though they haven’t made us feel this way. Get rid of stress and frustrations by screaming in the car, buy a punching bag or use a pillow, or go to the gym after work.

Underlying issues
One of the main reasons for couple arguing is that there are underlying issues that linger which haven’t been resolved. Therefore you both need to realise the problem of not solving these hidden and obvious problems. If they aren’t resolved they will keep rearing their ugly head.

The problem of compromise
There are times when compromise is good, but it shouldn’t be the way to resolve all your domestic disputes. The reason for this is that many people often feel that they are owed something later on or that they have given something up as a part of the bargain. You need to resolve and find solutions.

They aren’t the enemy
You have to remember that you love this person and sometimes when we spend a lot of time with someone it can be easy to get stuck in a rut and allow feelings of resentment ruin our mood. Therefore you have to remember that they are not the enemy and it isn’t a case of winning or losing.

There needs to be change
You both need to take in that trying harder won’t make a lot of difference and so you need to work towards change. You will both want and need to change your behaviour and thinking and focus on resolving things. You also need to assess whether it is your behaviour that needs focus and change.

Re-evaluate expectations
When expectations of someone are too high it is easy to feel let down when they aren’t met. Couples should remember that their partner is human meaning mistakes will happen, and either one of you will feel let down. Having unrealistic expectations will only end in conflict and dissatisfaction.

Follow promises through
Cut down on arguments by following through on promises you make. When one of you makes a promise and it’s not kept, the other is likely to be hurt. If your partner fails to keep their promises, make sure you do. You will find that your calm manner will help them to take on your approach.

Don’t take things to heart
Try not to take things that are said in the heat of the moment as things are taken the wrong way and this always leads to a breakdown in communication. If someone is overly critical then they’re either over generalising or don’t know how to articulate themselves through communication properly.

Forget the past
When a couple argue it is always easy to bring up the past and the nitty gritty details of past arguments and troubles. However, if you avoid this and only mention things within the last week, you will both realise that there isn’t that much and it stops things for getting out of control.

Listen and hear
If you argue its key that you both listen and hear to what is said, as this is vital in keeping strong communication which is crucial in a relationship. You can recall what they’ve said so they feel you’ve listened, heard and understood. You aren’t agreeing to what they say, but it helps to calm things.

Stop the blame game
Don’t blame your partner or yourself because this only masks the truth. When you try to make someone feel guilty and blame them you are covering up what is really going on. Pointing the finger will also keep the argument going and stokes the fire rather than stop it, which should be your goal.

The consequences
Realise what the argument is doing to the relationship and to you. It takes a big toll on someone and nobody like the upset and stress of it all. It is much better to be happy than to be right and it will definitely have a positive effect on your relationship.


Many couples argue/fight due to different reasons. If we could get to the root of the problem, discuss openly, this would definitely be the most ideal situation where arguments could be prevented and resolved. i agree fully to the paragraph on underlying issues. seriously, many people do not see that sometimes the cause of arguments are the underlying issues.
the corresponding party in the argument will always bring out the this and that that had happened in the past and will link and bring the past issue to the current and gel the issues to ONE large issue. if they had resolved it previously, this could be prevented.

it takes alot for a relatonship to work. not just constant communication, trust, faith, honesty and the many many other factors. it really boils down to how things are resolved and the constant want for relationship to work.
life and its lessons. life is a long journey. it is not easy to go through the lessons and become wiser from them. we have to mature with life. we have to mature in our thinking/perceptions.

character is built. we have to put in a constant effort to better ourselves in one way or other. looking at how humans have degenerated, i dont know what the world will become. i do hope that humans in general, will learn to be less self-centred, care for the others around us genuinely and not just because he/she is our senior.

ooh.. blabbered too much again.. LOLs.. sorry, just some food for thought (:



and another that i came across online:

LeAnn Rimes Explains Why She Cheated

Her time with Dean Sheremet was "great" but LeAnn Rimes says the two ultimately couldn't make their marriage work – and she's not proud of how she ended it.


"I understand why people are disappointed in me, especially since I grew up as America's sweetheart," the country singer, 28, tells the October issue of Shape, on newsstands Sept. 20. "I think any relationship is hard to get out of, and I don't think the way I did it was right."

Rimes, whose nearly eight-year marriage to Sheremet fell apart as she began seeing actor Eddie Cibrian. She told PEOPLE in June that she regretted her actions, saying "I did one of the most selfish things that I possibly could do, in hurting someone else."

She also points to getting married young as the reason for the split. "It wasn't a fulfilling marriage for either of us," she tells Shape. "As we got older, we grew apart."

Still, Rimes knows that "there are lessons in it for me to learn" and says she's figured out what she calls "the most important thing," which is "cultivating strength from rough situations."
 
"After going through this," says Rimes, who finalized her divorce in December and has since moved in with Cibrian, "I know I can face anything."
 
 
the reason why i pasted this article were due to the lines highlighted with orange font. is it really true that people who marry early will have marriages that fall apart? many have been so. but this doesnt mean that people who marry later will have marriages that last. it's a predicament! sighs.