i dont know if i made the right decision. i dont know if you will be immune to the change and your surroundings.

i'm rather affected actually. i have got your assurance. but i cannot protect nor guarantee my self that i will be safe from it all.

SINGAPORE: Police have arrested a serial snatch thief following a crucial lead provided by an iPhone application.

The thief had snatched a 36-year-old woman's iPhone in the early hours of Sunday morning along Lim Liak Street, in the Tiong Bahru area.

Police was able to trace the stolen phone via an iPhone application called "Find My iPhone". The application allowed the missing iPhone to be located on a map.

With this important lead, officers were able to establish the identity of the suspect and he was arrested on Monday in Outram Road.

Preliminary investigations revealed that the suspect is also believed to be responsible for several other snatch theft cases in the Tiong Bahru and Kim Tian estates.

Police said the suspect, an 18-year-old Malaysian man, will be charged in court on Wednesday.

If convicted he could be jailed for up to 7 years and caned.

Police said a Court Order will be sought to remand him for further investigations.

-CNA/ac





You know your insignificance/unimportance when people refuses you and chooses someone over you.

I have always been insignificant. I see it even clearer now that i am.

When the lights go out
Will you take me with you?
And carry all this broken bone
Through six years down in crowded rooms

And highways I call home
Is something I can't know till now
Till you picked me off the ground
With brick in hand, your lip gloss smile
Your scraped up knees and

If you stay
I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes
How long?
Until we find our way
In the dark and out of harm
You can run away with me
Anytime you want

Terrified of what I'd be
As a kid from what I'd seen
Every single day
When people try
And put the pieces back together
Just to smash them down
Turn my headphones up real loud
I don't think I need them now
'Cause you stop the noise and

If you stay
I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes
How long?
Until we find our way
In the dark and out of harm
You can run away with me
Anytime you want

Anytime you want
Anytime you want

Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away

'Cause if you stay
I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes
How long?
Until we find our way
In the dark and out of harm
You can run away with me
You can write it on your arm
You can run away with me
Anytime you want

From the blue tent i withdraw, taking tiny steps to your big welcoming heart n arms. (:

Sometimes we fight
Sometimes I cry
Why don't I
Just tell him goodbye
Sometimes I should
But sometimes I don't
Build up the strength to
Say that it's wrong
Sometimes I hate
Sometimes I love
Sometimes I hurt
Sometimes I don't
Sometimes I wait
For him to change
But it's okay
I've disguised the pain
And I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say i'm brainwashed but i'm in love
With this man
Yeah

Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way (x7)
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
Perfect nightmare

Sometimes I keep my cool
Sometimes I let him know
Sometimes I even pack my bags to walk out the door
Sometimes I feel safe
Sometimes I really don't
Sometimes I promise that i'm ready to let him go
But I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say i'm brainwashed but i'm in love
With this man

Ohh ohhh

Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way (x7)
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
Perfect nightmare

Hoping he's changing
But i'm scared he's not
Can't see a way to leave
Help me open my eyes

Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
Perfect

Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way (x7)
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
Perfect nightmare
No way (x7)
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
Perfect nightmare
Perfect nightmare


Sometimes i feel as though it is during such times tt i catch up on my music. This really caught my ear. Her t-shirt song is not bad (:

Everybody wants something, just a little more
We're makin a living, and what we're livin for
A rich man or a poor man, a pawn or a king
You can live on the street, you can rule the whole world
But you don't mean one damn thing

What do you got, if you ain't got love
Whatever you got, it just ain't enough
you're walkin' the road, but you're goin' nowhere
you're tryin' to find your way home, but there's no one there
Who do you hold, in the dark of night
You wanna give up, but it's worth the fight
You have all the things, that you've been dreamin' of

If you ain't got someone, you're afraid to lose
Everybody needs just one, someone... to tell them the truth
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/2Tub ]
Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I still believe
I believe in hope, I believe the change can get us off our knees
If you ain't got love, it's all just keeping score
If you ain't got love, what the hell we doing it for

I don't wanna have to talk about it
How many songs you gotta sing about it
How long you gonna live without it
Why does someone somewhere have to doubt it
Someday you'll figure it out

If you ain't got love, it's all just keeping score
If you ain't got love, what the hell we doin' it for
Woahhh, I ain't got, if you ain't got love
What do you got if you ain't got love
What do you got if you ain't got love






Bon jovi's songs.. always amazing. this is one of his latest which i LOVE. (:
it really is nice to have someone there for you. it really is.

someone once told me that i was a serial heartbreaker.

i didnt believe i was. she said i have an ability to make someone fall very hard for me and then i will choose to leave.

time and again i did. i did it without my knowledge. i didnt know i have actually done such stuffs till i look at my past msges and chat histories. this was when i realised i have left a trail of broken hearts. i blame it on my inability to give a direct no for an answer.

there are others whom i did give a direct no for an answer. they never came back as friends. in fact most of us stopped talking. i guess it was from such reactions that there after that i do not give a direct no for an answer. i would drop hints, thinking that they would be smart enough to gather the hints which were pretty obvious hints. but no! they didnt gather any. they grew more persistent till i stopped all form of contact with anyone except for girlfriends.

i did not want my life to be anymore complicated.

i sincerely apologise for the trail of broken hearts that i have left. i hope all of you will find peace, somehow, hopefully.

if i have daughters, i will tell them to give firm, direct rejections and not leave a trail of broken hearts. for my sons, enter into an r/s only when you are sure you will not break her heart.

another morning, another hearse.

i saw a hearse leaving near my apartment. i saw the palms of the immediate family members placed on the hearse in the attempt to walk with the deceased in the final journey of his/her life. i did not know what was the symbolism of this when i did it. it was only later when i learnt of the reason. it is normally at this point in time when it will be the saddest and most painful time for the immediately family members or friends of the deceased. it was also our "final goodbye journey" with the deceased.

this image reminded of...

she was with me through and through for 20+years in my life, just 5 months before my 21st birthday. we were in the hospital with her till her very last. everyone in the family was really looking forward to my birthday. they had gone to various jewellers to look for something suitable instead of giving me the "key" that was so cliched. they wanted mine to be special and memorable. i was not looking forward as to me, birthdays are just another day in the calendar. there is nothing special about it. in your birth, there are many others who have passed who may probably have even more celebrated lives than us in our lifetimes.

i believe not many of my friends knew the reason why i did not celebrate mine. i did not mind at all for not celebrating. i did not mind being tired and all but just really wanted to be with her. we broke all the rules about visiting only at the hospital's stipulated visiting hours. at least one of us will sleep by her. in days when her condition got slightly more critical, she will be in a room that is monitored 24hrs by nurses. even then we were not kept away. we slept outside at the corridors, only going in once in awhile to look at her. i guess besides the reason of wanting to be with her, the other reason is that in the case of any emergency procedures to be done, sometimes acknowledgement from family members are needed and we will be there to sign the forms.

i could see how dejected she was when we told her it was my birthday. but we assured her it's okays. cos as long as we are together as a family, nothing else really mattered. on days when she threw huge tantrums, we understood and tolerated. it's the conditions that make her behave so.

everyday after work, i would rush to her without fail. only on days when i had class or sometimes after class, i will still make a trip to see her before i head home. the hospital was a 20mins brisk walk from my house. all of us lost weight during the 9 months that she was there. i lost 5 and became underweight. but it was alright. everything we did, every moment with her was worth it.

she left us on the very day of mother's day.

of all days, yes, mothers day. it just made us even sadder but we will smile at the wonderful life she led and the memories and moments shared with her.

take good care wherever you are. it was nice having a life with you. sorry for the nonsense that came out of me in my growing years. we will meet in the western paradise.

We carried all the colors
From the portrait of our summer
We never felt the answers
Weighing down our shoulders
Time goes fast when you wander
Nothing lasts forever But I still feel the power
Of you and me together

And the light surrounds you
I know I'm the lucky one
Though I'm always the last to believe I know I'm the lucky one
'Cause I'm here and you're with me
So tell me are you willing
To try this thing called living
'Cause there's so many edges hidden
And it's so hard to be forgiven But I'll try once if you ask me
And once again everlasting
For all my days I'll love you
And all the stars you run through

When the wrongs and the rights All get pushed aside
You're my favorite color
You're the black to the white
And the warmth inside
You're the sun I'm under
I volunteer to watch you Through the dreams that haunt you
I promise
To wake you
Before the fear takes you



I heard this jus before i slpt last night. This song turned my night around. Cos no matter what, i know i'm the lucky one to be chosen. (:

I HATE control of any form. I'll runaway when i feel i'm controlled or when i feel noone understands me.

I feel so now and am really upset.

I didnt do anything wrong. I merely helped someone with my pure heart and mind.

I do not want to be part of this hideous world any longer.

Please grant me a peace of mind and take me away from this hideous world.

Below is the full eulogy of MM Lee's wife furneral. its really heartwarming.



EULOGY BY MINISTER MENTOR AT THE FUNERAL SERVICE OF MRS LEE
KUAN YEW, MANDAI CREMATORIUM, 6 OCTOBER 2010

The last farewell to my wife

Ancient peoples developed and ritualised mourning practices to express the shared grief of family and friends, and together show not fear or distaste for death, but respect for the dead one; and to give comfort to the living who will miss the deceased. I recall the ritual mourning when my maternal grandmother died some 75 years ago. For five nights the family would gather to sing her praises and wail and mourn at her departure, led by a practised professional mourner. Such rituals are no longer observed. My family’s sorrow is to be expressed in personal tributes to the matriarch of our family. In October 2003 when she had her first stroke, we had a strong intimation of our mortality.

My wife and I have been together since 1947 for more than three quarters of our lives. My grief at her passing cannot be expressed in words. But today, when recounting our lives together, I would like to celebrate her life. In our quiet moments, we would revisit our lives and times together. We had been most fortunate. At critical turning points in our lives, fortune favoured us.

As a young man with an interrupted education at Raffles College, and no steady job or profession, her parents did not look upon me as a desirable son-in-law. But she had faith in me. We had committed ourselves to each other.

In February 1952, our first son Hsien Loong was born. She took maternity leave for a year. That February, I was asked by John Laycock, the Senior Partner, to take up the case of the Postal and Telecommunications
Uniformed Staff Union, the postmen’s union. They were negotiating with the government for better terms and conditions of service. Negotiations were deadlocked and they decided to go on strike. It was a battle for public support. I
was able to put across the reasonableness of their case through the press and radio. After a fortnight, they won concessions from the government. Choo, who was at home on maternity leave, pencilled through my draft statements, making them simple and clear.

Over the years, she influenced my writing style. Now I write in short sentences, in the active voice. We gradually influenced each other’s ways and habits as we adjusted and accommodated each other. We knew that we could not stay starry-eyed lovers all our lives; that life was an on-going challenge with new problems to resolve and manage.

We had two more children, Wei Ling in 1955 and Hsien Yang in 1957. She brought them up to be well-behaved, polite, considerate and never to throw their weight as the prime minister’s children. As a lawyer, she earned enough, to free me from worries about the future of our children. She saw the price I paid for not having mastered Mandarin when I was young. We decided to send all three children to Chinese kindergarten and schools. She made sure they learned English and Malay well at home. Her nurturing has equipped them for life in a multi-lingual region.We never argued over the upbringing of our children, nor over financial matters. Our earnings and assets were jointly held. We were each other’s confidant.

She had simple pleasures. We would walk around the Istana gardens in the evening, and I hit golf balls to relax. Later, when we had grandchildren, she would take them to feed the fish and the swans in the Istana
ponds. Then we would swim. She was interested in her surroundings, for instance, that many bird varieties were pushed out by mynahs and crows eating up the insects and vegetation. She discovered the curator of the gardens had cleared wild grasses and swing fogged for mosquitoes, killing off insects they fed on. She stopped this and the bird varieties returned. She surrounded the swimming pool with free flowering scented flowers and derived great pleasure smelling them as she swam. She knew each flower by its popular and botanical names. She had an enormous capacity for words.

She helped me draft the Constitution of the PAP. For the inaugural meeting at Victoria Memorial Hall on 4 November 1954, she gathered the wives of the founder members to sew rosettes for those who were going on stage. In my first election for Tanjong Pagar, our home in Oxley Road, became the HQ to assign cars provided by my supporters to ferry voters to the polling booth. She warned me that I could not trust my new found associates, the leftwing trade unionists led by Lim Chin Siong. She was furious that he never sent
their high school student helpers to canvass for me in Tanjong Pagar, yet demanded the use of cars provided by my supporters to ferry my Tanjong Pagar voters. She had an uncanny ability to read the character of a person. She would sometimes warn me to be careful of certain persons; often, she turned out to be right.

When we were about to join Malaysia, she told me that we would not succeed because the UMNO Malay leaders had such different lifestyles and because their politics were communally-based, on race and religion. I replied that we had to make it work as there was no better choice. But she was right.
We were asked to leave Malaysia before two years. When separation was imminent, Eddie Barker, as Law Minister, drew up the draft legislation for the separation. But he did not include an undertaking by the Federation Government to guarantee the observance of the two water agreements between the PUB and the Johor state government. I asked Choo to include this. She drafted the undertaking as part of the constitutional amendment of the Federation of Malaysia Constitution itself. She was precise and meticulous in her choice of words. The amendment statute was annexed to the Separation Agreement, which we then registered with the United Nations.

After her first stroke, she lost her left field of vision. This slowed down her reading. She learned to cope, reading with the help of a ruler. She swam every evening and kept fit. She continued to travel with me, and stayed active despite the stroke. She stayed in touch with her family and old friends.She listened to her collection of CDs, mostly classical, plus some golden oldies. She jocularly divided her life into “before stroke” and “after stroke”, like BC and AD.

She was friendly and considerate to all associated with her. She would banter with her WSOs (woman security officers) and correct their English grammar and pronunciation in a friendly and cheerful way. Her former WSOs visited her when she was at NNI. I thank them all. (Listed in Appendix A) Her second stroke on 12 May 2008 was more disabling. I encouraged and cheered her on, helped by a magnificent team of doctors, surgeons, therapists and nurses. (Listed in Appendix B.)

Her nurses, WSOs and maids all grew fond of her because she was warm and considerate. When she coughed, she would take her small pillow to cover her mouth because she worried for them and did not want to infect them. Her mind remained clear but her voice became weaker. When I kissed her on her cheek, she told me not to come too close to her in case I caught her pneumonia. I assured her that the doctors did not think that was likely because I was active. When given some peaches in hospital, she asked the maid to take one home for my lunch. I was at the centre of her life.

On 24 June 2008, a CT scan revealed another bleed again on the right side of her brain. There was not much more that medicine or surgery could do except to keep her comfortable.

I brought her home on 3 July 2008. The doctors expected her to last a few weeks. She lived till 2nd October, 2 years and 3 months. She remained lucid. They gave time for me and my children to come to terms with
the inevitable. In the final few months, her faculties declined. She could not speak but her cognition remained. She looked forward to have me talk to her every evening.

Her last wish she shared with me was to enjoin our children to have our ashes placed together, as we were in life.

The last two years of her life were the most difficult. She was bedridden after small successive strokes; she could not speak but she was still cognisant. Every night she would wait for me to sit by her to tell her of my day’s activities and to read her favourite poems. Then she would sleep. I have precious memories of our 63 years together. Without her, I would be a different man, with a different life. She devoted herself to me and our children. She was always there when I needed her. She has lived a life full of warmth and meaning.

I should find solace at her 89 years of her life well lived. But at this moment of the final parting, my heart is heavy with sadness.
------------

Appendix A
Minister Mentor’s Private Office
Principal Private Secretary: Chee Hong Tat
Press Secretary: Yeong Yoon Ying
Personal Assistants: Wong Lin Hoe, Koh Kiang Chay, Lilian Ho
Security Officers and Woman Security Officers:
Alice Lim Siew Cheng, Alice Goh Siew Hiang, Catherine Tan Noi Keo, Goh Ai
Hoon, Silver Ng Su Meng, Karen Ng Poh Ling, Mae Teo Siew Inn, Joey Leong
Kai Mun, Joyce Chong Ai Lin, Jillian Phua, Teo Cheng Piau, Tan Yew Eng,
Mervin Kwong Hoong Fai, Tong Ming Ming, Mok Suay Kheng, Angie Lee Ai
Chern

Appendix B
Doctors:
- NNI: Dr Lee Kim En (Neurology), Dr Ivan Ng (Neurosurgery), Dr Francis Hui
(Neuroradiology);
- TTSH: Dr Suresh Sahadevan (General Medicine), Dr Chin Jing Jih (Geriatric
Medicine), Dr Karen Chua (Rehabilitation Medicine), Dr Kwek Tong Kiat
(Anaesthesia); Thomas Lew (Anaesthesia)
- SGH: Prof Fong Kok Yong (Rheumatology); Dr A Balakrishnan (ENT)
- NDC: Dr Yuen Kwong Wing (Senior Consultant), Dr Marianne Ong (Consultant)
Nurses:
- TTSH: Wong Mui Peng, Ranbhir Kaur, Lily Ng, Tina Tng, Ten Siew Hwa, Heng
Mui Chu, Lily Toh
- NNI: Tan IL Fan
- KTPH: Liu Xiao Yan
- SGH: Elaine Yek, Eileen Robert Jacob, Li Ying and Jacqueline Teo
Therapists:
- Physiotherapy: Susan Niam, Seah Wei Wei
- Occupational therapy: Chan Mei Leng, David Zhang
- Speech therapy: Leow Li Pyn, Sharon Wu
Masseurs:
Heng Li Hoong, Lynne Teo

i was asked if the things i do in life are worth it.
the work i do, and the people around me.

there are many views in life on what each of us want to achieve and what each of us thinks makes an ideal other half.

i can see many of my friends who have other halves who are older and so called more established in life and their other halves have the capability to buy the more luxurious stuffs in life, have better spending power and both parties seem really happy and blissful.

is this what i want? to have a other half who could provide me with what i need/want entirely, to not struggle through fnancially so as to get what we want and need?

to go on weekend escapades at luxurious hotels, to have someone to fetch you after work in a luxury car, porsche, lambo, benz, bmw, audi? is this what i want?

is this how we measure love and life? is this how we measure our lifestyle, our man, ourselves?

I know it is irresponsible, but committing sucide is good.

It makes the ppl around you feel and know how treasured you are. It makes them realise your importance in their lives.

That said, of cos I will not support such thoughts or ideas of such from anyone. So... No silly thoughts people!!

Take some time to say I love you to the people around you before eveything's too late. Noone can expect or know what happens in life.

Till my next post, take care peeps (:

If what i heard is true then... Its time to rethink. Is it really worth the time and effort? Especially 精神. It can never be replaced properly. If u lose it, u've lost it. Is it really worth it to give up so much? Time, effort, family, friends, personal space... Is it, is it really worth it?

A legal issue or too much red tape may cause you endless problems. No matter what you do, it only seems to get worse. Try doing nothing and everything will automatically get sorted. A career dream may come true as you connect with the very person who can help you achieve it. You're very determined to get what you want even if it means stepping on a few toes. The harder you work, the luckier you'll be.

sometimes life really makes you wonder about stuffs.

what makes life tick? your life especially. is it the people around you? your friends? family? various experiences in life? work? there are indeed different things that tick for different people.

humans are bounded by relationships. It doesn't mean that when a relationship of yours had failed, all the others that come along will fail. Somehow guys/girls alike, fall for the same type of people and they fall out with the "same" people again and again. Just try changing your perception and you may realise the one next to you is the one you've been looking so hard for.

Don't ever jeopardise relations with your families. They are the ones who will always be there and take you in no matter what happens. Good or bad, no matter what, they'll be there for you to the end.

Don't let any relations between people fail. We are bounded by relationships. (:

Sparks fly

It's like electricity
I might die
When I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's
No where in this world I'd rather be
Time stops
Like everything around me
Is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things
I've never seen

'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you

Past loves
They never got very far
Wall's up, made sure
I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this till
I knew it was right for me

But no one (no one)
No guy that I met before
Could make me (make me)
Feel so right and secure
And have you noticed
I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it's love

Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you


miranda cosgrove - kissing you (:

ooh.. this is cool.. i chanced upon this online while surfing..


By Flora McCraith, MSN, 02/09/2010


Quit the bickering
Tips on how to stop the arguing and petty bickering

Having the odd argument with your partner is normal and happens in most relationships. However, when it gets to the point where you are arguing every day, all your discussions are leading to fighting and bickering non-stop, then it is time to reassess things, because the likelihood of your relationship surviving is slim. We give you some tips on how to stop the bickering.

Stress and frustration

Lots of things make us tired and irritated and we take it out on our partner because we don’t know how to vent it, even though they haven’t made us feel this way. Get rid of stress and frustrations by screaming in the car, buy a punching bag or use a pillow, or go to the gym after work.

Underlying issues
One of the main reasons for couple arguing is that there are underlying issues that linger which haven’t been resolved. Therefore you both need to realise the problem of not solving these hidden and obvious problems. If they aren’t resolved they will keep rearing their ugly head.

The problem of compromise
There are times when compromise is good, but it shouldn’t be the way to resolve all your domestic disputes. The reason for this is that many people often feel that they are owed something later on or that they have given something up as a part of the bargain. You need to resolve and find solutions.

They aren’t the enemy
You have to remember that you love this person and sometimes when we spend a lot of time with someone it can be easy to get stuck in a rut and allow feelings of resentment ruin our mood. Therefore you have to remember that they are not the enemy and it isn’t a case of winning or losing.

There needs to be change
You both need to take in that trying harder won’t make a lot of difference and so you need to work towards change. You will both want and need to change your behaviour and thinking and focus on resolving things. You also need to assess whether it is your behaviour that needs focus and change.

Re-evaluate expectations
When expectations of someone are too high it is easy to feel let down when they aren’t met. Couples should remember that their partner is human meaning mistakes will happen, and either one of you will feel let down. Having unrealistic expectations will only end in conflict and dissatisfaction.

Follow promises through
Cut down on arguments by following through on promises you make. When one of you makes a promise and it’s not kept, the other is likely to be hurt. If your partner fails to keep their promises, make sure you do. You will find that your calm manner will help them to take on your approach.

Don’t take things to heart
Try not to take things that are said in the heat of the moment as things are taken the wrong way and this always leads to a breakdown in communication. If someone is overly critical then they’re either over generalising or don’t know how to articulate themselves through communication properly.

Forget the past
When a couple argue it is always easy to bring up the past and the nitty gritty details of past arguments and troubles. However, if you avoid this and only mention things within the last week, you will both realise that there isn’t that much and it stops things for getting out of control.

Listen and hear
If you argue its key that you both listen and hear to what is said, as this is vital in keeping strong communication which is crucial in a relationship. You can recall what they’ve said so they feel you’ve listened, heard and understood. You aren’t agreeing to what they say, but it helps to calm things.

Stop the blame game
Don’t blame your partner or yourself because this only masks the truth. When you try to make someone feel guilty and blame them you are covering up what is really going on. Pointing the finger will also keep the argument going and stokes the fire rather than stop it, which should be your goal.

The consequences
Realise what the argument is doing to the relationship and to you. It takes a big toll on someone and nobody like the upset and stress of it all. It is much better to be happy than to be right and it will definitely have a positive effect on your relationship.


Many couples argue/fight due to different reasons. If we could get to the root of the problem, discuss openly, this would definitely be the most ideal situation where arguments could be prevented and resolved. i agree fully to the paragraph on underlying issues. seriously, many people do not see that sometimes the cause of arguments are the underlying issues.
the corresponding party in the argument will always bring out the this and that that had happened in the past and will link and bring the past issue to the current and gel the issues to ONE large issue. if they had resolved it previously, this could be prevented.

it takes alot for a relatonship to work. not just constant communication, trust, faith, honesty and the many many other factors. it really boils down to how things are resolved and the constant want for relationship to work.
life and its lessons. life is a long journey. it is not easy to go through the lessons and become wiser from them. we have to mature with life. we have to mature in our thinking/perceptions.

character is built. we have to put in a constant effort to better ourselves in one way or other. looking at how humans have degenerated, i dont know what the world will become. i do hope that humans in general, will learn to be less self-centred, care for the others around us genuinely and not just because he/she is our senior.

ooh.. blabbered too much again.. LOLs.. sorry, just some food for thought (:



and another that i came across online:

LeAnn Rimes Explains Why She Cheated

Her time with Dean Sheremet was "great" but LeAnn Rimes says the two ultimately couldn't make their marriage work – and she's not proud of how she ended it.


"I understand why people are disappointed in me, especially since I grew up as America's sweetheart," the country singer, 28, tells the October issue of Shape, on newsstands Sept. 20. "I think any relationship is hard to get out of, and I don't think the way I did it was right."

Rimes, whose nearly eight-year marriage to Sheremet fell apart as she began seeing actor Eddie Cibrian. She told PEOPLE in June that she regretted her actions, saying "I did one of the most selfish things that I possibly could do, in hurting someone else."

She also points to getting married young as the reason for the split. "It wasn't a fulfilling marriage for either of us," she tells Shape. "As we got older, we grew apart."

Still, Rimes knows that "there are lessons in it for me to learn" and says she's figured out what she calls "the most important thing," which is "cultivating strength from rough situations."
 
"After going through this," says Rimes, who finalized her divorce in December and has since moved in with Cibrian, "I know I can face anything."
 
 
the reason why i pasted this article were due to the lines highlighted with orange font. is it really true that people who marry early will have marriages that fall apart? many have been so. but this doesnt mean that people who marry later will have marriages that last. it's a predicament! sighs.

Can Flirting Be Innocent?

Where do you draw the line between harmless flirting and inappropriate intimacy?

The birds do it, the bees do it. It seems all animals, humans included, are biologically wired to flirt. A smile or subconscious hair toss can be plain fun when you're happily single, but if you're in a relationship things can get blurry. The question is how do you draw the line between innocent flirting and an inappropriate come-on that can jeopardize your current relationship?

When flirting is good clean fun

The truth is, people flirt all the time in order to get help in social situations. Have you ever flirted with a mechanic in order to try to get a discount on getting your car fixed? What about the time you chatted up the waiter in order to get better service? Flirting is a social game we play in these kinds of situations and it's considered an "acceptable" form of flirting by most people.


There are benefits to innocent flirting, even if you're attached or married. Flirting can be a huge booster to your self-esteem. People like to hear how good they look and if they catch someone checking them out or smiling at them, it's a compliment.

When things get gray

Things get a bit more complicated when it comes to flirting with colleagues of the opposite sex. A UK research found that casual flirting in the office is rife, often with the motive to hand work over to someone else. Coined "functional flirting" by the researchers, the study found that nearly half (48 percent) of office workers admit to flirting to get their own way in the workplace. Twice as many women as men admit to flirting with their bosses, while men are more likely to focus their attentions on their junior colleagues. "As long as you keep your conversations and actions appropriate, office flirting is really no big deal because everybody does it and it makes my job simpler when others like me," says Jamie, 29, a PR consultant.

But some relationship experts warn that all kinds of workplace flirting (including functional flirting) has the potential to turn friendship into an emotional affair. These intimate relationships are usually not based on physical attraction or sex; rather they tend to be based on a strong emotional bond that persists without the complete knowledge and consent of your current spouse. "When a spouse places his or her primary emotional needs in the hands of someone outside the marriage, it breaks the bond of marriage just as adultery does. An emotional affair can be just as dangerous to a marriage and often a more complicated situation to remedy," explains marriage counselor Gary Neuman, author of Emotional Infidelity. And the crux of an emotional affair is that many times, these persons involved are totally unaware that they are being unfaithful, say experts.

Warning signs things are out of control

A little flirting with someone you meet on a regular basis (like a co-worker) can quickly get out of hand. A warning sign that your "friendship" has crossed the line is when your "friend" has become your go-to soulmate for sharing emotional intimacy (hopes, fears, dreams) instead of your spouse. Another tell-tale sign is a diminished relationship with your spouse, such as more fights over small issues, little or no sex, and the feeling that you don't have much in common anymore, warns Neuman. If you find yourself having to lie to your partner about how you relate to someone else, it's a big wake-up call that you need to reassess your relationahip with that person.

Always place your relationship in the first spot

Mastering your self-control to flirting boils down to how much you value your relationship and a respect for your partner's feelings, so don't forget what brought you and your partner together in the first place. "It's so easy," says Neuman, "to forget why we fell in love." It's important to constantly "feed" your love with lots of communication and together-time.


And however much fun (or benefit) you may have from flirting with other guys, nothing beats flirting with yours. "A lot of people stop flirting once they are in a relationship. Don't. The couple that plays together stays together," urges relationship expert Tracey Cox. When you retain that playful factor in your relationship, you'll keep it from getting stuck in a rut.














i was reading this article online when it makes us think about the things we do in our daily lives. if they are just like how the article wrote it to be. the little flirts we give out here n there to get things done quicker and in the way that we want them to be. are they really harmless? do these "flirts" come back to "haunt" us? did we even think twice when we flirted to get things done?


many a times to get someone to help us, females may "flirt" unconsciously to get someone to finish our job for us. someone being a guy. a manager in my department told us that we should use our female charm if the client is a male, to get him to expedite our requests for schedules and stuffs. it was such a turn off when she said that. i dont deny that male clients do furnish the stuffs that we had requested faster if we smile more at them or talk to them nicely. well most of the time that's the case for me, but we know and can always tell them off if we find them weird. we can always feedback to our managers and they will do something about it. like send someone else to replace us. so we are very protected.


all in all, i believe, as long as you do not have intentions to take the flirt to another level like to INTENTIONALLY become friends or more than friends and know where to draw the line, i think it is alright. its part and parcel of life. just dont cross the line that they are nothing more than working relations, have faith/trust in your partner and dont EVER do anything to jeopardise the relationship that both of you have established.

it is worse when you hide your online chats from your partner and claim that you are only talking to a "friend". you do not know when you will get too emotionally involved with the chatter and talk less often with your partner and always go to the online chatter to share your problems, thinking that he/she is always there for you. he/she can solve your problems for you when you did not realise you ARE already creating a problem for yourself. sometimes when you realise and try to turn back, sometimes it is already too late. noone can be emotionally attached/committed to 2 persons at a time. dont lie to yourself. your partner has been there for you through your ups and downs, thick and thin. you have already crossed the line when you lied to your partner that you are merely chatting with a friend. share your thoughts with your partner no matter what they are. you may know that your partner will disapprove of the things you say but at least, you are sharing them with him/her, the someone who is important to you and not a random stranger whom you thought could replace your partner.

I wanna call the stars 
Down from the sky 
I wanna live a day 
That never dies 
I wanna change the world 
Only for you 
All the impossible 
I wanna do 

I wanna hold you close 
Under the rain 
I wanna kiss your smile 
And feel the pain 
I know what's beautiful 
Looking at you 
In a world of lies 
You are the truth 

And baby 
Everytime you touch me 
I become a hero 
I'll make you safe 
No matter where you are 
And bring you 
Everything you ask for 
Nothing is above me 
I'm shining like a candle in the dark 
When you tell me that you love me 

I wanna make you see 
Just what I was 
Show you the loneliness 
And what it does 
You walked into my life 
To stop my tears 
Everything's easy now 
I have you here 

And baby 
Everytime you touch me 
I become a hero 
I'll make you safe 
No matter where you are 
And bring you 
Everything you ask for 
Nothing is above me 
I'm shining like a candle in the dark 
When you tell me that you love me 

In a world without you 
I would always hunger 
All I need is your love to make me stronger 

And baby 
Everytime you touch me 
I become a hero 
I'll make you safe 
No matter where you are 
And bring you 
Everything you ask for 
Nothing is above me 
I'm shining like a candle in the dark 
When you tell me that you love me 

You love me 
When you tell me that you love me






this is a really old song but it's really nice. it lets you feel really very wonderful (:
sometimes when you feel the world is falling apart, this song makes you feel that there's still hope, somewhere out there. ooh.. and the next one too!




There's a hero if you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
and the sorrow that you know will melt away

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

It's a long road when you face the world alone,
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within yourself
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

oh, ohhh,Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Hold on, there will be tomorrow,
In time you'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you
that a hero lies in ... you
mmmm that a hero lies in.....you






when i used to be emo, these are the few that makes me smile. but now... (: i no longer have to be emo. thankews for you and neutron star collision~ :D

Sometimes I feel like everybody's got a problem
Sometimes I feel like nobody wants to solve them
I know that people say we're never going to make it
But I know we're going to get through this
(Close your eyes and please don't let me go)
Don't, Don't, Don't, Don't let me go now
(Close your eyes don't let me let you go)
Don't, Don't, Don't

Take my hand tonight
Let's not think about tomorrow
Take my hand tonight
We could find some place to go
Cause our hearts are locked forever
And our love will never die
Take my hand tonight
One last time

The city sleeps and we're lost in the moment
Another kiss says we're lying on the pavement
If they could see us they would tell us that we're crazy
But I know they just don't understand
(Close your eyes and please don't let me go)
Don't, Don't, Don't, Don't let me go now
(Close your eyes don't let me let you go)
Don't, Don't, Don't

Take my hand tonight
Let's not think about tomorrow
Take my hand tonight
We could find some place to go
Cause our hearts are locked forever
And our love will never die
Take my hand tonight
One last time

The raindrops
The tears keep falling
I see your face and it keeps me going
If I get lost your light's going to guide me
And I know that you can take me home
You can take me home

Take my hand tonight
Let's not think about tomorrow
Take my hand tonight
We could find some place to go
Cause our hearts are locked forever
And our love will never die (Love will never die)
Take my hand tonight
One last time 






Simple Plan's take my hand. i just heard this song again after a long while. really love how they are able to sing such sweet words in a punk rock style. awesome~

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth and I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya
No..

I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry


Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two








sometimes miracles do happen when you least expect it. life's amazing and wondeful (:
you're my eighth world wonder! wee~