Relationship cannot be felt as a burden. But if u are constantly worried and continue to be, then after some time, u'll feel insecure then u'll tell me I dun give u security. U'll progress from worrying to stress, affecting everything including me. Then u'll explode or u explode wat we built

i remembered the words above vividly. it is not a burden nor is it about me not having enough security from u. i am not worried.



of the exciting and happy moments you have, they are without me.

someone told me that having utmost trust, faith and believe is really important. alot of communication will be very important too.

i have lost all of that. i lost all of it to time. i no longer have much commmunication. maybe it is just me who do not understand. maybe i have simply failed to understand or refused to understand or have even misunderstood everything.

somehow i'm just really upset. you can spend hours out with others. like from 9am till 12mn. i dont even get to have that. all i get is phone calls that are only 5 mins long, just meals together, gifts.... even if i do get to have a day with you, all i get is you sleeping all day, waking only to eat. you would rather spend time and be happy elsewhere with others. if you really want so, then so be it. go with others. go to others. others are SO HAPPY to see you and be with you. they LOVE your company. constantly checking you out.

i no longer have anything. i have lost everything.

it is not whether you are worthy or not but it is about life being worthless. i'm tired. tired of life and all of the struggles it brings.